As we self-realize we become more sure of our identity and less reliant of the validation of others
Facing loneliness is necessary to develop a stronger sense of identity, but this is no easy task as it requires that we take the bold step of diminishing our need for social validation. For to develop a strong sense of identity we must distinguish ourselves from our peers. Each of us is unique, we have different innate talents, likes, and dislikes, and so as we strengthen our sense of identity, it is inevitable that we will become less like those around us.
But we must not think that this process will turn us into outsiders who reject the social world. If we choose to retreat into solitude to re-orient our life around the hub of a vocation, this process can lead to a more fulfilling social life. By finding an intrinsically rewarding form of work and spending the necessary time to become good at what we do, we will become more sure of our sense of identity will not be held back by anxiety or the need for validation.
As we become more self-reliant and less demanding of other people, as occurs with those who find meaning through their work, our existing relationships may also improve as a direct result. Interpersonal relationships are subject to an element Impermanence and uncertainty which should preclude them from being idealized as an absolute or seen as constituting the only path toward happiness. When your happiness is dependant in the company of others, you set yourself up for potential disappointment in the future. It may be our idealization of interpersonal relationships in the West that causes marriage, supposedly the most intimate tie, to be so unstable. If we did not look to marriage as the principal source of happiness, fewer marriages would end in tears.
References
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Storr, Anthony. (1988). Solitude A Return to the Self Introduction (p. 10).
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Academy of Ideas. (2020). Solitude and Self-Realization Why You Should Spend More Time Alone. Academyofieas: https://academyofideas.com/2020/01/solitude-self-realization-why-you-should-spend-more-time-alone/
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AcademyofIdeas. Social Media and The Psychology of Loneliness. (2018). https://academyofideas.com/2018/08/social-media-psychology-of-loneliness/.
Metadata
Type:🔴 Tags: Psychology Status:☀️