We can become addicted to the way we view ourselves
Having a certain story about ourselves in our heads can be rewarding, perhaps to the point that we become addicted to our self-view. We learn to view ourselves in a certain light over and over again and these views are reinforced. These views can become a subjective bias and an Idol. We may lose flexibility in our thinking and we can no longer take in new information or adapt to our changing environment. We might start forming our sense of who we are and who we want to be as an adult in, say, our twenties, and then surround ourselves with people and situations that are likely to support our view of ourselves.
The way we view ourselves can be shaped through operant conditioning. For example, we might get an A on a test in sixth grade. We don’t think much of it, but then get home and show it to our parents, who exclaim, “Great job! Look how smart you are!” This parental praise is rewarding. We ace another test, and are reminded of what happened the last time, hand it to our parents, expecting more praise, and receive it accordingly. With this reinforcement as motivation, we might make sure that we study extra hard for the rest of the semester and get straight As on our report card. Over time, with our grades, friends, and parents telling us over and over that we are smart, we might start to believe it. After all, there is nothing to suggest otherwise.
References
- Brewer, Judson. The Craving Mind Why We Get Hooked and How We Can Break Bad Habits Chapter 4. Addicted to Ourselves (Location 1088). New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
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