Spending extra time with people who have BPD can make their desire for stable attachement worse
If you spend extra time with some one who has Borderline Personality Disorder because they “really needed it,” It makes them feel special. They want someone to provide stable attachment and a predictible roadmap of the world. Subconsciously, they will try to trigger any behavior that would indicate this. If any behaviors are inconsistent, they will get the stickiest type of reinforcement.
We should stop feeling conflicted and guilty about not giving people with BPD “extra” time, because it is more harmful than helpful. Doing so would just be enabling. We can help them learn to develop a more stable sense of themselves and their world, starting with the very simple guideline of always beginning and ending visits on time. More intermittent reinforcement—and with it will become stable learning and habituation.
References
- Brewer, Judson. The Craving Mind Why We Get Hooked and How We Can Break Bad Habits Chapter 4. Addicted to Ourselves (Location 1152). New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
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Type:🔴 Tags: Psychology Status:☀️